How to support yourself during grief: 6 strategies
The shock and grief of losing someone takes its toll emotionally, physically, and mentally, making it difficult to focus on self-care. Yet looking after your wellbeing can play an important part in helping you work through the grieving process.
Exercise
Many people feel weighed down by grief, making it difficult to move. Meanwhile others can’t sit still, maybe tidying and cleaning or feeling the urge for a stress-relieving gym session. Whether you feel like moving or not, exercise is recommended for people who are grieving. Because tuning into your body and inhabiting the moment can give you a break. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, this can have huge benefits, including:
● Getting out of your grief bubble by stepping into a different environment.
● Boosting your endorphins which can help your mood.
● Giving you something to focus on beyond the loss you are experiencing.
It’s a good idea to stick with activities you’re used to or to start with gentle exercise. If running or going to the gym isn’t for you, you could try walking or yoga. You can even find specially designed yoga for people who are grieving. Simply Google ‘grief yoga’ to find free online sessions you can do at home.
Let nature nurture you
There’s a lot of research that proves green spaces reduce stress and anger, and improve mood. Spending time in nature doesn’t have to mean taking a long walk in the countryside. Instead, you could bring nature into your everyday life. For example, by growing flowers and vegetables, spending time in a park or garden, or exercising outdoors.
Meditation
Another way to help calm your mind and body is to practice meditation. It won’t change how you’re feeling but it can give you a different perspective and change how you experience your feelings. There are lots of free online resources to guide you through each meditation, making it easy to pick up the practice if you’ve never meditated before.
Releasing anger
If anger is your overriding emotion, you might want to find safe ways to release it. Screaming into a pillow or even out loud can be a great stress buster. But if you want something more physical, think about visiting a ‘rage room’. These spaces are designed to let you safely smash an entire room of items - perfect for people who need a physical release. If this sounds a bit extreme, simply talking to someone and venting your anger verbally can also be very helpful.
Nutrition
Although you might not feel like eating, food plays an essential role in providing the nutrients your stressed body needs. Bereavement support organisation At A Loss has information on nutrition and grief and The Good Grief Trust also provides a range of recipes for people who are grieving. Food can also play a role in commemorating the person you’ve lost. When you’re ready, you might decide to cook their favourite meal or visit a special place to eat to remember good times you’ve shared together.
Journaling
With such a tumult of emotions after the loss of a loved one it can be difficult to work out how you feel. Keeping a journal to help you express and make sense of your thoughts and feelings can be helpful.
Revisiting your entries will help you see how far you’ve come and to remind yourself that although your feelings are difficult in the moment, they do change over time. Online mood trackers (here and here) can help you monitor your mood over time. Or you can buy one of a range of grief journals designed for daily journaling, children and families
Commemorating your loved one
This is usually something people do in the later stages of grief when people start to worry they might forget the person they’ve lost. Finding ways to memorialise your loved one can be comforting. You could plant a tree in their name, have a commemorative bench set up in a favourite spot, make a memory box or a photo collage. Some people hold social gatherings on special dates or throw events to honour and remember the person who’s died.
Talking
Possibly the most important thing you can do to navigate grief is talk to the people in your life. It’s not always easy to talk about how we feel but it’s really important not to bottle up our feelings. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to people you know, consider seeking support from a bereavement organisation or a professional counsellor. Either remotely or by seeking support in your local area.
Speak to the Samaritans 24/7, 365 days a year.
You can find local support by entering your postcode at the bottom of their website.
Find a registered therapist in your area.
However you grieve, be kind and patient with yourself. There’s no timetable - it can take months or even years to fully grieve. The important thing is to experience your grief in your own way and give yourself time to heal.
If you’re looking for more support, take a look at these websites.
This signposting website will help you find and access a wide range of bereavement resources and support across the UK.
Resources for people experiencing bereavement, plus reassurance, a virtual hand of friendship and ongoing support.